Like many people, I consider Joseph Conrad's Heart of Darkness to be one of the handful of greatest novels ever written. I love it. I try and re-read it every other year, or so.
Well, thanks to the wonderful folks at MSNBC, I don't have to read some of it as often as I normally would.
You see, one of my favorite parts of the book is when then boat comes across that lone French man-of-war shelling an apparently uninhabited forested stretch of coast. It's just bombing for no reason, lobbing shells at trees and bushes and frogs.
Anyway, seems that folks at MSNBC have come up with their own version of the Weird French Ship: it's their weekly primetime lineup.
Surfing the channels, like surfing the great Congo river, often brings me to this crazy ship, where Olby and Maddow and the rest rant and carry-on about "Bush's Torture Policies" and "Geneva Conventions" and "Indictments in Spanish Courts." Bombing their unwatched airwaves with shells of stupidity seems to be their newly adopted stock-in-trade.
And it doesn't stop there...Like the uncivilized natives in Conrad's classic, Olby, Maddow, Shuster, and the rest, wallow in their infantile fantasies and scatological conspiracies. Instead of cannibalizing others and playing with their own feces, the MSNBC'ers burn effigies to Karl Rove and Scooter Libby, they raise chants and place hexes on Dick Cheney and Sarah Palin like the wild jungle savages.
I half expect to click on the channel one night and see a bare-chested Keith and a pants-less Rachel with their faces painted with blood, holding up the severed head of Karl Rove as they scream into the camera about the abuses of waterboarding.
It would not shock me to see Jeanine Garafalo slaughter a cow, drink its blood, then spit it back up into the air like a fountain as she hacks at a David Shuster with a machete, screaming, "BUSH LIED AND PEOPLE DIED!! all while Chris Matthews dry humps a live-sized portrait of Barack Obama
Now, here's for the confession...I'm loving it! I am having more fun watching these dolts prattle on and on about Spanish Courts and discovery documents and torture statutes. This craziness is actually entertaining as hell.
So flame on, crazy MSNBC'ers! Set your course for the sun and fly, you crazy bastards, fly until you burn in the glory of your own delusional fantasies!
Just wait until I've had my fill of the fun. I'll let you know when I've grown tired of it.
The horror, indeed.
Joseph Conrad couldn't have written it any better.
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