The Last Lion

WELCOME TO THE SUPREME COURT, SONIA SOTOMAYOR!!!!

As we all know, our Messiah President God-King made his first appointment to the Supreme Court this week and he chose a wonderful, soulful, oppressed, empathetic, Latina, woman, sassy, and did I mention Latina?  person to fill the spot vacated by long-dead wormy dude, David Souter.

What we don't know, or better, haven't heard, is that Sotomayor beat out a tough group of finalists for the spot.  Fortunately, the info is starting to leak as to who those other four finalists were, and the Last Lion is on the case! 

Following are the actual briefing notes given to The Chosen One by his SCOTUS Selection Committee.

1) Leon "Ditchwater" Green - 53 year old, blind, deaf, African-American. 

Leon gained years of experience as an oppressed black man living in South Carolina.  Beaten and picked on from a very early age, Leon is empathetic to those who are also oppressed and picked on.  His years of living as a blind and deaf African American make him uniquely qualified to be a Supreme Court Justice.  He has been way more oppressed than Alito, Roberts, or Scalia.  Ironically, he was never as poor or discriminated against as Clarence Thomas, but as we all know, Thomas doesn't count because he is Conservative.

2) Chi Mei Coo - 45 year old Korean-American Lesbian born with a harelip.

Chi is incredibly empathetic to all oppressed peoples because she has been oppressed for decades as both an Asian and a Lesbian.  She once was discriminated against by her parents and won a lawsuit in which she alleged they infringed on her rights as a Lesbian by living as a heterosexual couple as she and her brother were growing up.  Her harelip also adds about, like, 10 extra points.

3) Waselieu Pyjamorski - 41 year old Polish-American.

Waselieu isn't very empathetic, but has been the butt of Polish jokes from a very early age.  Not really as qualified as the rest, but we had to fill out our racial quota with a white male, sadly.  Um, he is married to a woman with 1/16th Cherokee blood...does that count? 

4) Agnes Marquez Montalbano - 47 year old Basque-Russian-American Tran-sexual Paralytic in a Wheelchair who was born with three arms and an extra eye in the base of her neck.

Could be the "Holy Grail" of all nominees!  SUPER empathetic.  Has had tons of abuse heaped on her for her various social constrictions.  As a man, Agnes was also a pioneer in the field of global warming!  Multiple arms and eyes mean multiple empathy centers.  Hates men, and her life in a wheelchair has provided her with multiple opportunities to be discriminated against by various corporations (some of which we now own) and in various ways.  Only drawback is that she doesn't have a law degree, but in the end, who cares as long as she/he can sympathize.

Well, there it is.  Looks like The One chose the best one.  Godspeed, Justice Sotomayor!

DIOS MIO....

Our new Supreme Court nominee seems to think that Judges are supposed to make law.  Wow. 

That really is some "Change" idiotic Liberals can believe in!

Enjoy!

HAPPY MEMORIAL DAY

CHENEY V. OBAMA

Sorry, Barry.  But you may want to put some ice on that.

Bill Kristol sums it up nicely:

"Obama's is the speech of a young senator who was once a part-time law professor--platitudinous and preachy, vague and pseudo-thoughtful in an abstract kind of way. This sentence was revealing: "On the other hand, I recently opposed the release of certain photographs that were taken of detainees by U.S. personnel between 2002 and 2004." "Opposed the release"? Doesn't he mean "decided not to permit the release"? He's president. He's not just a guy participating in a debate. But he's more comfortable as a debater, not as someone who takes responsibility for decisions.

Cheney's is the speech of a grownup, of a chief executive, of a statesman. He's sober, realistic and concrete, stands up for his country and its public officials, and has an acute awareness of the consequences of the choices one makes as a public official and a willingness to take responsibility for those choices."

LIVE LONG AND PROSPER, BA-SPOCK OBAMA

Okay, okay.  Time to chime in on all the "Barack Obama is really Mr. Spock!" crap perpetrated by the lame-ass newsies, puppy-love smitten pundits, and drooling Trekkie (or, is it Trekkor?) losers throughout the world.

Fine.

Let's stipulate that our Messiah President God-King is an exact replica of the soulful, logical, wonderful, and talented Mr. Spock.

However, let's just remember one thing.

The bad ass, swaggering, ass-kicking cowboy who always managed to save the day for the Enterprise, her crew, and the universe was James T. Kirk...and don't you ever ****ing forget it!

Maureen Dowd Caught Plagiarizing?

Holy crap!

I think the real surprise here is that she knows how to read.

I CAN'T GET ENOUGH OF NANCY PELOSI BEING A DOPE...

It just doesn't get any better than Nancy Pelosi showing the world what lying ignoramus she is, unless, of course, you get Charles Krauthammer talking about what a lying ignoramus she is:

"Well, her news conference today was an utter disaster. She was nervous. She was shifty. Her syntax was incomprehensible. And there were times when she had had to refer to her original statement because she couldn't remember what the current truth — her current truth was.

It reminds me of a line in a Graham Greene novel in which a spy says "I prefer to tell the truth. It's easier to memorize." Well, she didn't have it memorized. You had a sense that if you'd attached a lie detector to her in that news conference, it would have short circuited."

DEMOCRAT CULTURE OF CORRUPTION? ANYONE? HELLO? ANYONE?

Democratic Donor Pleads Guilty in Pension-Fund Scandal

The AP:

A California businessman implicated in a corruption scandal at New York's public pension fund secretly pleaded guilty to securities fraud two months ago, authorities revealed yesterday.

Julio Ramirez, a former agent for the Wetherly Capital Group, is the sixth person charged and one of two to plead guilty in a probe of alleged kickbacks and influence peddling at the fund during the tenure of former state Comptroller Alan Hevesi.

CATS AND DOGS, LIVING TOGETHER!

Oh no.  This is really, really bad.  The ACLU is angry with our Messiah President God-King! 

What to do?

I mean, two of the most destructive forces on the face of the earth opposing each other? 

Well, for now I will laugh and congratulate President Chosen One for pissing off the idiots at the ACLU, but then I remember, he will surely change his mind back again once enough angry Lefty's call him to complain.

Oh well.  For now, let's just enjoy the in-fighting!

"If the Obama administration continues down this path, it will betray not only its promises to the American people, but its commitment to this nation's most fundamental principles. President Obama has said we should turn the page, but we cannot do that until we fully learn how this nation veered down the path of criminality and immorality, who allowed that to happen and whose lives were mutilated as a result. Releasing these photos – as painful as it might be – is a critical step toward that accounting. The American people deserve no less."

THIS IS JUST TOO DAMN WONDERFUL!

From the BBC:

An expedition team which set sail from Plymouth on a 5,000-mile carbon emission-free trip to Greenland have been rescued by an oil tanker. . . .

Raoul Surcouf, Richard Spink and skipper Ben Stoddart sent a mayday because they feared for their safety amid winds of 68mph (109km/h)...In one incident Mr Stoddart hit his head and the wind generator and solar panels were ripped from the yacht.

I love these kind of stories!  Like when a crunchy hippie goes off to the rain forest to help oppressed "indigenous peoples" only to find that said "indigenous peoples" like the taste of human flesh so they kill and eat said crunchy hippie.

Liberals are so cute when they try and make the world a better place.

Can't you just see these guys flailing around in tears as the trickle of blood drops from the tiny scrape on poor little Ben's forehead?

You just know that Raoul passed out at the site.

And Richard found enough inner-strength to call for help: first to Barack Obama, who didn't answer, then to Al Gore, who declined to help because there's no way to land his private jet on the ocean, and he couldn't rustle up a film crew in time.

So, those mean old meanines in the oil tanker respond to the mayday, come by and laugh at the silly little eco-vessel, then toss the three hysterical men onto the tanker deck and laugh again as the wind generated Green Machine gets set upon and sunk by a school of baby Red Snapper.

The following morning, the crew tosses Raoul Richard, and Ben overboard after hours of uninterrupted whining about the crews lack of environmental awareness.

Twenty minutes later, the eco-warriors are beaten till unconscious by a pair of passing Orca whales, then eaten by sharks.

And balance is restored to the universe.